Principle
If I understand you, then I can be more accurate in my interactions with you.

How it works
Understanding another person is perhaps the second most difficult thing to do (the most difficult thing is understanding yourself).
People are driven by complex and deep motivations, that if you can understand you can support and shape.

They have limited capabilities and are shaped by past events in their lives - many of the early ones of which may have been, at the time, traumatic.

They infer meaning that is different from what is really happening and formulate intent using faulty logic and decision processes.

They have differing preferences that lead them to behave as different 'personality types'.

...and all you need to do is understand all this.

So what?
Always spend as much time as possible trying to understand people such that you can explain their past actions and predict their likely future actions.
Demonstrating your understanding, when coupled with care and concern, is a powerful way of building trust.
When talking with them, use the same language and models as them, so they can understand what you say in their own terms.
You can also use your understanding to build tension and hence persuade them.

Taken from http://changingminds.org

-Sigh-

berat nih berattttttttttttttt.... tapi keep posting

tambahan: jadi jika ingin benar benar berkomunikasi dengan orang lain, janganlah menjadi "diri sendiri", cobalah berdiri dengan "sepatunya" dan menjadi "sepertinya", baru berkomunikasi, begitu kali ya? :).. well, saran saya sih; kalau belum tau orang yang diajak berkomunikasi selalu berbicara dengan lemah lembut, lalu bersikaplah "openminded" agar pikiran ini jangan buru buru menghakimi orang lain dan pendapatnya.. Ujung2nya malah gak jalan komunikasinya. Lama lama mulai deh mengerti tentang orang lain, baru komunikasinya jalan.

tapi ini berlaku kalo semua pihak, let say kita ngomong berdua... yah dua2nya berlaku begitu. Mencoba berdiri di sepatu eachother... sambil ngerasain apa sih rasanya pake sepatu dia... oh gitu tho ternyata... thats what I call with "balancing".

Tapi kalo cuman satu pihak yang berusaha begitu, berdiri dengan "sepatunya" dan menjadi "sepertinya".. weleh, ya it's tiring ya. Kayak nyetir mobil (kayak deh gue bisa nyetir. hehehe).. udah usaha hati2 eh tapi ternyata ada metro mini ngebut2an... resikonya sama aja jadinya.

Lebih melelahkan lagi, kalo kedua pihak udah ngerasa nyobain "sepatunya", tapi sama2 ngerasa nggak dirasain "sepatuku".

Sigh... tiring.

walahh, mana bisa langsung dua-dua-nya bisa saling 'pake sepatu masing2' ? kalo bisa begitu udah adem ayem nih dunia. Itu lah problem paling banyak didunia, bahwa kebanyakan orang selalu menuntut untuk 'sepatunya' dipakai dulu; dan lupa untuk belajar memakai 'sepatunya'.

Satu hubungan dengan orang lain kan harus mulai dari kita sendiri, regardless balasan dari manusia lain itu. Jadi, diri sendiri lah yang dikontrol, bukan orang lain itu. Mangkanya resep biar komunikasi/hubungan lancar, ya terus latih diri ini supaya bisa memakai 'sepatu' orang lain.

Pasti mula mulanya seperti, 2x50 ( cepe deh ), mangkanya latihan.. berdoa, baca Alkitab, meditasi, (ikut koor kalo perlu), ..ntar jadi lebih sabar deh.. kalo orang sabar, pasti banyak yang sayang..

gak percaya, coba aja.